All posts tagged: spirituality

You are Not the center of it all…

March 27, 2022 Merlin Gonzales blog, Message

I received a call in September 2021.

It was a surprise call. ” Would you like to go to Israel…, all expenses paid?“, a friend of mine asked. I thought he was kidding! No one would offer someone an all-expenses paid 10-day trip to Israel, especially, I haven’t heard from him for a while.

It was for real!

After exchanging phone calls with my friend, I knew it was for real. However, I tried not to be too excited because it was too good to be true. In spite of my feelings, I went ahead and prepared everything for the trip in December – my passport, my credentials and everything. However, just 2 weeks before we were to depart, the COVID restriction did not allow us to leave.

This is not going to happen

“I was right“, I said to myself affirming that this trip was not going to happen. I was bummed out nonetheless. Then right after Christmas, my wife and I contracted Covid. Then in late January, my hope was renewed when I received an email from the sponsoring ministry – @IsraelCollective that we are going to Israel on Feb. 7th!

My hopes suddenly raised up to higher expectations!

On Feb. 7th, 2022, I found myself in an airplane en route to New York on to Israel.

At Mt. Of Beatitudes overlooking the Sea of Galilee, the Jordan Riven and Bethsaida.

Days later, I was taking pictures of the Sea of Galilee, the Jordan River, Jerusalem, the Temple walls, Bethlehem, etc.

Perhaps I will share with you more of the details of my trip but this blog is not about my trip…

… it is about what God is doing in our lives.

It was not solely about the journey

I believe in popular saying to enjoy the journey. However, after my wonderful journey to the Holy Land, I found out it was not so much about the trip…

… it was about God’s message to me. It was not about the location but about the condition of my heart… about my personal relationship with Jesus. Although I can say that I walked where Jesus walked and proved to myself that there is a Dead Sea and the Mt. of Olives, what hit me the most was “the Jesus in flesh” – the people who chose to be in a land where most people thought it was a peaceful place, a holy place in the earth.

On contrary

Most of us thought Israel is a peaceful place to live. It is not! While I was there, Syrians launched missile to Israel but they intercepted it. We visited the borders of Lebanon, Syria, West Bank and the Gaza Strip… I can tell you from what I gathered, Israel is in turmoil more than the US. As Steve Khoury, a second generation Pastor of the largest Arab Evangelical church in east Jerusalem and the Palestinian territories, wrote in his book, “It the Backyard of Jesus” Close encounters with death haunt me everyday, keeping me in touch with the reality that without Christ my battle is already lost.

However, I felt safe walking alone at night in the small and dark streets of Jerusalem or Tel Aviv than the streets of Indianapolis, the surrounding countries are at war against them. Somehow, the rich history of Israel, mainly the Jews in the Old Testament, the birth of Jesus and the expansion of Christianity, the Muslim conquest of the Levant that led to the submission of Jerusalem in 637-638 AD, the series of religious wars or the Crusade that started in 1099 AD and countless religious, political and cultural interactions, the inhabitants learned to live in diversity.

Our lives

There are random things that happen to our lives and we try our best to fit them in our small boxes. Sometimes we make our judgment based on our limited perception and experience. We live a world where ourselves come first before others. However, the Scripture says we should honor others – It is better to give than to receive, to be first, you have to be the last, treat others as you would want to be treated…

God is the center of the universe, not us.

So in this short message, I hope that you saw what God is doing in our midst. He is omnipresent and knows what we are going through in our lives. You and I are not the center of the universe… it is God!

An unusual day

November 15, 2021 Merlin Gonzales Backyard Missions, blog, FHL Food Pantry

I still remember when the government first announced the severity of the spread of the pandemic.

A historical event

March 13, 2020, was the date that many of us will remember. It was the day when President Trump declared a nationwide emergency due to COVID-19. As I was trying to keep up with the news on Thursday, March 19th, I watched a TV broadcast about a priest who was doing a drive-by confession.

“He might do it”

The next day March 20, 2020, I stopped by my church to visit my wife; she works there. The streets were clear of traffic for a Friday morning. In the church building, there were only a few people around. “The pandemic is real”, I told myself as I was phasing back and forth on a church hallway. As my pastor was passing by, I told him how innovative was the priest who came up with a drive-by confession. He smiled as he said (because he said I might do it) that a vacant Starbucks building at an intersection close to the church could a great drive-thru prayer. However, even before he finished his sentence, I thought came to mind that it would be a great drive-thru food pantry.

A burning building

The thought of a drive-thru food pantry stayed with me for the next 2 hours until I decided to drive by the building to check it out. I have been to that same building several times when it was open. It had been vacated and empty for about 2 years. I remembered when they closed it, the leader of the missional food pantry at my church came to me and asked for my advice if he should ask the manager to donate the coffee tables and chairs. He found out that they were giving it away since they want to have new coffee shop furniture at their new location – no more than 100 feet away from that building! But that day was different. I had a feeling of certainty. I parked my car in front of the building.

It seemed to me that the building was burning… in my heart.

I saw a sign in the front of the building that it was for lease and the number to call. Without any hesitancy, I called the number. A leasing agent answered me. I told him that I would like to turn the building into a drive-thru food pantry since many people have been laid off and it would be a strategic location since it is one of the busiest intersections in that part of town.

He said that he will speak with the Starbucks contact and will get back to me. I thought he was just trying to get me off the phone. I said to myself, “That was the end of my vision”, and I did not expect any callback.

The bush was not burning!

By around 4 pm, my phone rang! The leasing agent said he has someone in line to speak with me. I had mixed emotions at that point… “Was my idea a flop or is it from God?” As I was being introduced to an executive from Starbucks in Seattle, Washington, my head was computing data at the speed of light!

After a brief introduction of all the parties involved, I share my vision with the Starbucks executive, “We are not asking for money”, I said. I shared my vision that it would be a great community service if his company would allow us to use the vacant building as a drive-thru food pantry. “It would be a great help to the residents of the community where they’re doing business”, I added.

To my surprise, the executive said that he will speak with their legal department for consideration.

One of the worst times in my life

March 15, 2020 Merlin Gonzales Testimony

It was in late August 2019.

Things seem normal at the office. A mailman came to have me sign Certified letters. While reading the letter, my heart started to pound harder and faster. At the end of the letter, I did not know what to say. My mind was confused and my physical body lost strength.

In the days to come, I found out I was a victim of fraud. The person I trusted for almost 4 years, the person I prayed for, the person I counseled to work on his marriage, the person I brought to my house for dinner a few times, the person I loved as a brother has been betraying me.

After a few months of legal procedures, my organization lost thousands of dollars. I went into depression and blamed myself. My leaders consoled me because they were fooled as well (although some joined the organization after I started working with the individual.)

I questioned God. I prayed, I worshipped, I spoke with my confidants, I cried. I thank my wife for being there to listen to me, to encourage me and to lift up my spirit in the midst of the dark situation.

In spite of this tragedy, my relationship with the leaders of my organization got even better and the foundation of trust got stronger as we worked together in the process. They believe in me!

During the following months, God showed up in my life in many different ways. I learned things that I would have not learned without the incident. I found out that in the midst of seemingly bad situations, our hearts and our minds could see things differently.

Out of desperation, our hearts become more open to hear what God has been saying to us. Our eyes become clearer and enable us to see the moves of God. Out of the dark situations in life, wisdom arises.

A brighter perspective

I found out also that in times of adversity, we become resilient. Our perspectives are sharpened as we deal with unforeseen circumstances. Our spirit yields to God as He teaches us His ways and builds our character and faith.

Miracles along the way

Miracles seem to come more frequently, as if God is saying, “I’ve got you!” Literally, there were times when unexpected provisions and resources would come and would surprise both my wife and me.

Although we lost a lot of money, what hurt me the most was the betrayal. It is still hard for me to fathom how an individual could do such a thing to a person who trusted him and loved him.

God is with me all the time

Dwelling on it was not my priority. Instead, the incident drew me closer to God. I meditated more on the Word of God and His promises. I worshipped more and I got closer to God. Although I made the mistake of not doing my due diligence at the start of my working relationship with the perpetrator, I matured in dealing with people.

I learned many things in the process and took a lot of notes about it. Sometimes, I think that God had allowed it to happen to me so I could pass along the teaching to others. It would have been worse if this occurrence happened to others who would grow bitter and resentful to others.

Although I forgave the person, I know God is the final Judge and He promised in the Bible that revenge in His – “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” – Romans 12:9 (NIV)

It took me a while to decide to write this. I wrote this as a precaution for you and as an encouragement for those who were victims of this person and also victims of a similar issue. (Just a few days ago, I spoke with an individual who worked with him during the same time period and he did the same thing to her.)

I pray for this person that he would wake up from the lies of the enemy. I pray for his family, his innocent children who knew nothing of his way of life which could affect their future.

I thank those who have been with me in this process. I thank our family friends who provided not only prayers and moral support but also financial help. And lastly, I thank my wife for being there for me and for believing in me.

As I am still processing this unfortunate incident, I realize how God’s grace protected me; it could have been worse. God is always with those who love Him and fear Him.

As I read the Beatitudes I am starting to understand – that one of the worse things that happened to me could be one of the best things that could happen in my life.

God bless you,

Merlin

A Wallet from Heaven

October 9, 2019 Merlin Gonzales a Study on God's Dominion, KIOM

The day before Faith Hope and Love Community (FHL’s) annual fundraiser dinner was very busy.

As you may know, many details encompass the planning for such an event, but it was important to my team to hash out the details necessary to make the dinner a success. After accomplishing our plans for the day, my wife and I treated ourselves to a relaxing dinner. However, when it was time to pay, I discovered my wallet was missing!

A queasy feeling

Assuming I had left the wallet in one of our FHL trucks, we decided it would be best to just wait to retrieve it the next morning when we arrived for setup-the day’s events had left us very tired! The next morning, though, I was dismayed to discover that my wallet was nowhere to be found. This worried me greatly, but I was tasked with assisting with setting up the venue. Throughout the rest of the day, I searched the vehicles I had travelled in the day before inside and out, even searching through the venue several times thinking I had perhaps left it sitting somewhere. That lingering anxiousness stayed with me for the next few hours. Finally, my wife finally told me to forget about my wallet and concentrate. I decided she was right. The angel of the Lord would just have to deliver my wallet back to me.

The fundraiser proved to be an excellent distraction. It was an evening filled with powerful stories and life-changing testimonies, including stories of miracles.

When the guests were gone and everything put into its proper place, I started the drive back to my home around midnight. Suddenly, I remembered my wallet! Immediately, the feeling of anxiousness and dread came rushing back over me. The thought of my personal information being open to a stranger was interrupted by a “thump” on my windshield. For some reason I can’t explain, I thought that perhaps this could have been my wallet! After pondering this for several minutes, I decided to turn around, (thank God for round-abouts), and I drove back to where I heard the sound. My hope began to fade as my methodical search did not reveal my wallet. Besides, I couldn’t figure out how it would have suddenly shown up anyway. I got back into my car to go home, but I felt the Lord’s nudging to go back. Hesitantly, I turned around saying to myself that this would be the last time.

Choosing what to believe

I turned on my hazard lights and got out of my truck. After about 2-3 steps I saw on the side of the street what seemed like a piece of paper and not thinking anything else, picked it up. To my surprise, it was a copy of the FHL tax-exempt certificate! I had inserted it into my wallet to have ready to show to certain merchant who offered us an exemption to rent the tables we needed for the annual dinner.

A surge of energy radiated all over my body! It only took me a few minutes after that to find all my credit cards, pictures and my wallet! It was a moment when I knew that heaven invaded earth!

I called my wife immediately and as I proceeded home, I tried to remember how, when and where I lost my wallet to dispel the notion that indeed, an angel of the Lord had brought my wallet back to me.

Moments like this give me confidence that God uses such times to build our faith in Him. I believe He chose that moment to, ‘drop my wallet from Heaven,’ to give me assurance that He is intimately involved in my life.

Beyond life’s circumstances

Our God is a God of miracles that can go beyond space and time, and infinitely out of the bounds of our limited minds and experience (Ephesians 3:20). This experience reminded me that whatever happens in my life or my ministry, He is in control and I have nothing to worry or be anxious about. The same is also true for you, and your worries and cares. We can trust in the promises of God, no matter how absurd or illogical they may seem to be.

God is with us and He is good all the time.

Update: When my wife read the story, she had vision of an angel and the demon who stole my wallet fighting in the sky and the angel got my wallet back and threw it in my truck.

Living in synchronicity

March 22, 2018 Merlin Gonzales blog

“‘Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.‘” John 5:19

A Vision

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!” was the focus of my meditation this morning.

A plethora of angels filled the sanctuary, hovering in the room. An angel placed a glistening golden crown on my head. As soon as it touched my head, a regeneration process started.

The glow from the golden crown slowly flowed from the top of my head down to my feet. Another team of angels came from the right side with glorious intense bright light in front of them. The glory moves as the angels move closer. The glory in front of the angels reached me.

Suddenly, I was consumed by the light and became one with the light. The light was so bright; all I could see was intense brilliance. I sensed the angels continued to move and the glory filled the entire sanctuary. Gradually, my eyes were transformed to see through the brilliance that filled the room. I saw multitudes of people receiving their golden crowns from legions of angels. They were all transformed as well. My vision became so vivid and saw everything surrounding me. Beautiful multi-colored flowers, tall trees that reach the blue sky above, mighty mountains and below me were liquid golden streets.

A new creature

The transformation that happened made me a new creature in Christ. The regeneration grace that flowed within me changed the wiring of my brain, my veins and arteries were cleaned as well as my stomach and intestines. My joints were lubricated and my skin was renewed. An overhaul of my soul, spirit and physical body revolutionized the way I experience my existence. Not only my eyesight had changed but my perception as well; my entire experience of the world shifted to another dimension. My internal processor was reconstructed and I became a new creature.

Dual reality

Somehow, I saw a glimpse when Jesus said that He only do what He sees the Father does and only say what He hears the Father says. Jesus lived in two different and opposing reality simultaneously. He acted on things based on what God is doing. Is this because He and the Father are one? The Scripture indicates that He is not the Father. Jesus had intimate relationship with God. His obedience made it impossible for Him to do anything separate from the Father. He was acquainted with the ways of the Father. He lived here on earth as the Father lives in heaven.

As new creature, would it be possible for us to concurrently live in two worlds, spiritual and physical? Could we exist in the heavenly and earthly dimension at the same time? Jesus said that we have the same Spirit who lived within Him. He also said in Ephesians 2:18 that we have access to the Father by one spirit. He also said in John 14:12 whoever believes in Him will do the works He had been doing and do even greater things because He is going to the Father.

Back to work

My experience that morning lingered throughout that day. On my way to my office, I had an exhilarating drive, smiling to everyone and noticed that my vision was much clearer – not so much about my eyesight but the perception of my surroundings. I felt light, content and joyful. At lunch my taste buds were more sensitive; the food was so incredibly delicious. I felt releasing love and receiving love from everyone in the office.

Could this be just my imagination or was the transformation that happened in the morning meditation was real? How can I be in perpetual awareness to my new self as a new creature and experience the dual reality at the same time? The opposing world – heaven and earth lived synchronized in the present.