Testimony

One of the worst times in my life

March 15, 2020 Merlin Gonzales Testimony

It was in late August 2019.

Things seem normal at the office. A mailman came to have me sign Certified letters. While reading the letter, my heart started to pound harder and faster. At the end of the letter, I did not know what to say. My mind was confused and my physical body lost strength.

In the days to come, I found out I was a victim of fraud. The person I trusted for almost 4 years, the person I prayed for, the person I counseled to work on his marriage, the person I brought to my house for dinner a few times, the person I loved as a brother has been betraying me.

After a few months of legal procedures, my organization lost thousands of dollars. I went into depression and blamed myself. My leaders consoled me because they were fooled as well (although some joined the organization after I started working with the individual.)

I questioned God. I prayed, I worshipped, I spoke with my confidants, I cried. I thank my wife for being there to listen to me, to encourage me and to lift up my spirit in the midst of the dark situation.

In spite of this tragedy, my relationship with the leaders of my organization got even better and the foundation of trust got stronger as we worked together in the process. They believe in me!

During the following months, God showed up in my life in many different ways. I learned things that I would have not learned without the incident. I found out that in the midst of seemingly bad situations, our hearts and our minds could see things differently.

Out of desperation, our hearts become more open to hear what God has been saying to us. Our eyes become clearer and enable us to see the moves of God. Out of the dark situations in life, wisdom arises.

A brighter perspective

I found out also that in times of adversity, we become resilient. Our perspectives are sharpened as we deal with unforeseen circumstances. Our spirit yields to God as He teaches us His ways and builds our character and faith.

Miracles along the way

Miracles seem to come more frequently, as if God is saying, “I’ve got you!” Literally, there were times when unexpected provisions and resources would come and would surprise both my wife and me.

Although we lost a lot of money, what hurt me the most was the betrayal. It is still hard for me to fathom how an individual could do such a thing to a person who trusted him and loved him.

God is with me all the time

Dwelling on it was not my priority. Instead, the incident drew me closer to God. I meditated more on the Word of God and His promises. I worshipped more and I got closer to God. Although I made the mistake of not doing my due diligence at the start of my working relationship with the perpetrator, I matured in dealing with people.

I learned many things in the process and took a lot of notes about it. Sometimes, I think that God had allowed it to happen to me so I could pass along the teaching to others. It would have been worse if this occurrence happened to others who would grow bitter and resentful to others.

Although I forgave the person, I know God is the final Judge and He promised in the Bible that revenge in His – “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” – Romans 12:9 (NIV)

It took me a while to decide to write this. I wrote this as a precaution for you and as an encouragement for those who were victims of this person and also victims of a similar issue. (Just a few days ago, I spoke with an individual who worked with him during the same time period and he did the same thing to her.)

I pray for this person that he would wake up from the lies of the enemy. I pray for his family, his innocent children who knew nothing of his way of life which could affect their future.

I thank those who have been with me in this process. I thank our family friends who provided not only prayers and moral support but also financial help. And lastly, I thank my wife for being there for me and for believing in me.

As I am still processing this unfortunate incident, I realize how God’s grace protected me; it could have been worse. God is always with those who love Him and fear Him.

As I read the Beatitudes I am starting to understand – that one of the worse things that happened to me could be one of the best things that could happen in my life.

God bless you,

Merlin

The Interpretation of my dream

September 30, 2015 Merlin Gonzales KIOM, Testimony

This exercise reminds us that God speaks to us in dreams. If you read my dream from my last posting, you would notice the details and the vividness of events. I would like to encourage you to keep a dream journal next to you so you can capture God’s messages more accurately. Don’t wait for several hours to write them, otherwise, you may forget some important details.

Most of the dreams are personal. The dream I had (posted previously) is personal but it also include some messages about the ministry that I founded. This is very important for me because God had shown me some of the events that will transpire (many of the events already transpired as I was writing this blog).

I am sharing some of the interpretation of my dream but since most of it is about my personal life and ministry, I deleted most of the interpretations. However, I left some of it so you can see that God’s instructions can be very detailed and we need to pay attention to what He’s saying.

It is my prayer that this dream and it’s interpretation would inspire you to ask the Lord for answers. He speaks to us in many ways and one of them is through our dream.

God bless you, Merlin

Merlin’s Dream – The 3 Images – August 31, 2015

Dream Date 8-31-15

Eight is the number of man’s ability to transcend limits of physical existence; resurrection power, to make fat; the teacher; new birth or beginning; abounding in strength; circumcision Ps. 119.

Thirty one is the number of divine perfection; offspring the name of God; deity.

Fifteen means energy of divine grace; resurrection in the glory; deity; rest; mercy delivered from death; the bride of Christ; reprieve and pardon.

People in Dream:

Merlin – self

3 enemy soldiers – represents attacks from satan (the enemy); things coming against you

Patel – a man of India decent – represents Merlin

refugees – children, parents, grandparents – no relation – represents those in your life looking for your guidance and protection

African American lady – teacher – represents Holy Spirit

Randy Clark – a Christian Apostolic Leader – represents the Lord who gives wisdom and is our shield

Before the Dream and Symbolism

This morning, I woke up at 2 am and couldn’t go back to sleep because I had an allergy attack.

Two is the number that means separation; division; contrast; split; war; testimony from a witness and support; blessing; judgment; ruin multiplication of death; revelation; harmony, incarnation; the Living Word.

By 3:30am, I was still awake sneezing and blowing my nose. Then, I asked God if He has a message for me since I am staying awake. I propped up my head with another pillow. I finally fell asleep – maybe around 4am. Then I dreamt.

4:00 is the time that spiritual doors open to bring revelation knowledge to dreamers. Morning is considered to be from 3:00 to 6:00 am. These dreams are from a divine or godly origin and bring the incense of heaven. We are able to gain inspiration from divine revelation outside of the constraints of earthly time.

The Holy Spirit can reveal things from the realms of eternity past, present or future. This is the best time to present yourself before the Lord to hear revelatory instruction, words of wisdom and gain redemption.

Jesus made a practice of awakening while it was still dark. The revelation God brings to our spirit will enhance our total life. The Holy Spirit shows us how to achieve and exceed our greatest potential. The Spirit of Truth guides our daily decisions and develops strategies to defeat every enemy and destructive force.

The Dream and Symbolism

I found myself in a war zone. There was all kinds of noise and commotion. There was 3 enemy soldiers who were coming at me. I had a rifle in my hands; I aimed and pulled the trigger. BANG, the enemy went down. However, 2 more were coming at me but I didn’t know how to cock the rifle. The enemies were coming fast so I used the bayonet and killed both of them.

A war zone is where we receive wisdom, strategy, instructions for planning battles and warfare through prayer and heavenly communication.

The enemy always tries to make a lot of noise to bring confusion.

There are three specific things you are fighting:

One you are able to kill off at a great distance because you know how to shoot an assault rifle. A rifle often represents a goal you have set your sites on; hitting the mark; focusing on reaching a high distant aspiration; to sort through a lot of information or thought processes.

But you need to become more familiar with the weapons of your warfare as you were not able to reload to take out the other two enemies. This allowed them to move into your territory at a close proximity instead of keeping them at a safe distance.

Hand to hand combat places you at risk even though you took them out with the bayonet. A bayonet is a short sword on the end of a gun that represents a frontal attack with stabbing, jabbing words that cut and wound while one is trying to defend one’s beliefs.

Soon, I ran away from that place to hide from the enemies. I saw buildings abandoned, streets were ravaged by bombs and total chaos all around. I found an abandoned building and tried to hide behind a wall while several people were passing by. There were a few other people hiding with me; they said that the people passing by are not enemies.

The enemy’s job description is to kill, steal and destroy. You notice the destruction of a chaotic city that has taken place due to the ravages of war and bombs. You go into hiding in an abandoned building behind a wall.

People are passing by which can indicate you feel hidden or that advancement or opportunities are passing you by because you are walled in.

There are other people with you who are in the same situation and looking for community or escape from the enemy.

Judges 9:51-52 But there was a strong tower in the center of the city, and all the men and women with all the leaders of the city fled there and shut themselves in; and they went up on the roof of the tower.

Buildings represent oneself or the body; a church; a corporation; attributes of personality and functions. Positive progress, awareness, and understanding is being made if one is on upper levels.

Proverbs 18:10 The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous runs into it and is safe.

Nahum 1:7 The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him.

Psalms 143:9 Deliver me, O Lord, from my enemies; I take refuge in You.

The name Patel is found primarily in people of India descent. It is derived from the word Patidar, “Pat” which refers to a piece of royal land. “Patel or Patil” refers to one who was tasked with taking care of or farming that piece of royal land.

The refugees were children, parents and grandparents.

Refugees in dreams represent a need to rest in God; place other’s needs before your own, being generous and benevolent is of utmost importance because you will reap what you sow. We are told to bless the foreigner. Refugees can also indicate one is trying to escape instead of confronting issues especially if basements are involved in the dream. The person may be feeling socially rejected, emotionally isolated or that they do not belong. (Amos 9)

Children: the future or next generation; a person between birth and puberty, juvenile, offspring, increase, prosperity, joy, spiritual inheritance or fruit, blessings, childlike or immature, a son or daughter, a descendant, someone or something for which you are responsible, spiritual inheritance.

Parents and Grandparents speak of multiple generations of families.

They were all sleeping in beds made of plywood, around 7 of them.

The number seven means completeness; wholeness; fullness; spiritual perfection and development; purification; consecration; weapons of self defense; the number of days of creation; forgive 70 x 7 seals and trumpets; the priest trumpeted at the walls of Jericho for seven days.

The beds represent of place of rest or intimacy in close quarters.

There being made of plywood can speak of a need to be flexible or pliable in a difficult situation. Build something new to honor the Lord from your spiritual inheritance of leadership and wisdom. God is your high tower and support for the new structure. Plywood is a standardized structural member used to build and construct facilities.

Each bed is full of people lying in opposite directions to allow them to fit in the bed.

People are trying their best to ‘fit in,’ even if it means they have to lie or do something that is uncomfortable or opposite to the norm.

Later, I met an African American lady, she’s the refugees’ teacher.

In dreams women often represent the Holy Spirit or the Church who is sent to comfort and teach.

She comes on a regular basis to teach them for about an hour, then she goes back to her place.

This movement can represent the move of the Spirit.

As I was talking with Mr. Patel, the Lord showed me 3 images. I asked the Lord what they represent. Towards the end of my dream, the answer was revealed.

Three is the number of the Holy Spirit; perfect witness & testimony; union; approval; completeness; fullness; kindness; entirety and Divine perfection. Spirit life, resurrection and the Godhead’s mighty acts. Jesus ministered for three years. The time dimensions of past, present and future.

Then, I saw Randy Clark was one of the leaders (a well-know apostolic Christian leader)

The name Randy means guarded shield.

Proverbs 30:5 Every word of God proves true; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him.

The name Clark means enlightened spirit of a scholar.

James 3:17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.

I followed him and he showed me a large generator.

A generator is a machine that coverts mechanical energy into electrical energy to generate vapor or gas. Vapors often speak of the Holy Spirit who is source that generates all power.

There was a problem in it but he quickly fixed it. He commented that it seems like you have to do the mechanical things more than being a spiritual leader. It made me think – why did he say that?

Most people function in the natural or carnal realm rather than moving by the Holy Spirit and power. Randy is known for his healing ministry that fixes broken people and puts them back together again so they can be powerful once more.

We walked back towards the refugees’ building that seemed concealed.

God is our hiding place those who run into Him are safe and concealed from the enemies view.

It is inside a compound with a large gate in the front.

Gate: entrance; threshold; passage from one chapter of life to another; increased levels of maturity, power and authority; entering destiny; something new and different; holds within; hindrance; Hell. Gateway to Heaven; portal Ps 24:7, 122:2, 100:4, 107:16; opportunity; cities; kingdoms; promotion; life; salvation; death. Gen 19:1; Heb 13:12; Mt 16:18.

Small Vehicle: represents a personal ministry or church; light and easy yoke; cramped and in need of expanding ministry.

From the look of it, I think the hard soil to the side of the gate was wide enough only for a motorcycle.

Motorcycle: an ability to go off road, escape the regular paths of life to experience adventure, freedom and to explore the unknown. Youthful drive, motivation and ambition, an ability to quickly out maneuver those around, physical energy, restlessness, daring, adventurous, demonstrates an ability to stay in control, fast acceleration propelling you past others; loner; personal, quick moving ministry; rebellion; pride. 1 Kings 12:18; 2 Kings 2:11–12, 10:16; Ps 104:3; Acts 8:28–38; 17:28a; 1 Thes 2:18. (Harleys, Hogs, Choppers, etc. and sport bikes) a great ability to overcome obstacles and physical skill to go off road to out of the way places; or maneuver through traffic on highways and byways; to feel the Holy Spirit wind and follow His leading.)

Mr. Patel being seated upon a Chair represents a comfortable place of rest; enables a person to communicate from a relaxed position; joining in or fellowshipping with; an invitation to lead, as in chairing a meeting; a position of authority; seat of office, favor or position. Ps 107:32; 2 Sam 23:8.

I was still half awake in my bed trying to wake up. I asked the Lord what the 3 images represent. Quickly, I got the answer – CHURCH, SCHOOL and MONEY. We need to have those during calamities. As I was starting to type this dream, I wondered why food and water were not listed. My answer was delivered to me right away – the Lord will provide.

Church: community of Christian believers; the ecclesia; an assembly; Body of Christ; Bride; five–fold ministry; called to serve; moral belief system; fellowship; relationship with God. Mt 16:18; Gal 1:13; Ep 1:22; 5:27. Church building: can indicate you are acting in a religious structured or legalistic manner instead of moving through life full of love acting as the living temple of God. Jesus said he would build His church on revelation. Mt 16:18.

School: preparing for a test; school of the Holy Spirit; place of promotion from lessons learned; student or teacher of the Word. Spiritual teaching and ministry training; discipleship; instruction in a skill or business; college, institution or university; higher learning; planned curriculum for years; educational; “the school of hard knocks;” “of the old school;” “tell tales out of school;” “old school tie;” “well–schooled;” aquatic animals (especially fish) swimming together. You are in the need of knowledge and wisdom; place of learning and acquiring skills and talents to succeed in life; anxiety from feeling insignificant or inadequate. It is time to overcome childhood insecurities or performance challenges; walking out the lesson of life or acquiring anointings and learning how to operate spiritual gifts and abilities; skipping class: means you are not open or receptive to the philosophy that is being taught; learn from past mistakes and failures. Mt 11:29; Acts 19:9.

Money: favor being given if money increases or favor lost if money is taken; inheritance; prosperity; blessings; saving; investment; power; fear of loss or theft; greed. Power; prestige; wealth; medium of exchange; measures value; property and assets; precise, “on the money”; finding money: small troubles will result in happiness and change; to steal: danger of lack and deceit; roll of dollars

INTERPRETATION

Merlin your dream is a call to prayer and intercession. Ask God for wisdom and His end time ministry strategy. You are called as a leader in this difficult time to bring comfort to those who feel lost or abandoned due to the chaos and confusion that is shaking the world right now. God will supply all of your needs according to His riches in Glory.

The Lord is reminding you to know your spiritual weapons and put on the full armor of God so that you can be prepared for all circumstances whenever the enemy comes against you.

The 3 Images represent a focus on the body of Christ, discipleship and the Lord’s Provision through relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Remember the Fire?

September 18, 2014 Merlin Gonzales a Study on God's Dominion, blog, KIOM, Testimony

Remember when you first commit your life to Jesus Christ?

Remember when you first experience God?

Two months ago, I posted about a house fire that happened to a Pastor who is friend of mine. Many people have helped him in terms of some donated money, furniture & appliances and most of all, prayers. I have been helping him in finding out the best solution for the future of the house that was burned. I have a sense that this tragedy will end up to be a blessing for him and his family. I kept encouraging him and praying for him in the past several weeks.

Last Monday, we heard news about the house and we did more negotiations. We were confirmed that there’s nothing else we can do, so we settled for what was agreed upon. Tonight, I received a message to call the main person regarding the house. We received great news; something that we did not expect!

In these past several months, God has been showing me things that are beyond my imagination. The unexpected things such as the pallet shelving, the launching of one-of a kind food pantry, the $70k walk-in freezer donation and many more.

There is another huge thing that has fall on my lap just 2 weeks ago. I ask that you pray for wisdom and discernment on my part. This one could impact thousands of people and may be an integral part in this particular community for years to come.

God is awesome! I would like to invite you come alongside with me in experiencing the goodness of God. Some people are experimenting with God to see what happens when you trust Him. I would like to invite you to journey with me in fully trusting God in every aspect of our lives.

There’s a difference between making Jesus as our Savior and making Him as our Lord. Our lives reflect who our Lord is – the way we conduct ourselves, react on situations, make decisions and our habits. Our reality is mostly based on our experience. I think many of us have knowledge of God but do not have much of experiencing life with Him – that’s why sometimes we find out selves asking ” where is God in this situation?” Unless we experience Him intimately, His reality in our lives would be fragmented.

Remember when you first experience God and felt that He is involved in your life? If you are like me, I was on fire! It seem like God is so close to me… not only during Sunday but every day of the week! What if we fully trust that every aspect of our lives is connected with our relationship with God…our finances, our relationships, our health and our spiritual life? This may be a silly question: “What if all of our life experience is directly interconnected with our relationship with God?” How would we cope with our failures and celebrate our success, treat our families, work with our associates and deal with our neighbors? If God is ever present in our consciousness, what would our lifestyle be, how would we react with every situation – good or bad, and what would be our perspective in life.

Here’s what I have in mind. I will share with you my experience with Him. Similar with what I have been writing before, I will continue sharing with you what God has been doing in the ministry of FHL. This time, I will be more intimate and share more of my personal experience with Him such as frustrations, praises and prayers, requests and dreams, questions and answers and, my experience. I would like to encourage you to share your stories as well, make comments, prayers and praises. Let’s experience God and share our stories to encourage and to uplift one another.

I hope you would consider joining me in learning more about ourselves and our relationship with the God that we profess – our Lord and our Savior, Jesus Christ. What’s your story and what has God been doing in your life? Remember your passion for Christ when you were a new Christian? Remember the fire in your heart?

NOW, NOW, NOW

October 11, 2013 Merlin Gonzales KIOM, Message, Ministry, Testimony

On early Sunday morning 10/6, I was awaken by a short but vivid dream. I was looking at a piece of white bond paper. On the top of it (the Title) was written 2 words.

(I can’t remember the first word) but the second word is NOW.

There were 2 subtitles, each with a descriptive paragraph. Both of the subtitles were a single word that has NOW in the middle of it. They look like this:

____NOW____

I didn’t remember the exact words but here’s the example – ackNOWledge.

So, my dream contained 3 NOW words and all capitalized. I’m not a dream interpreter but when a same thing appeared 3 times, it means it’s happening now!

For those of you who are parents, you can appreciate this – parents want to speak to their children all the time. However, when children grow up, they are normally too busy to talk or to listen to their parents. As adults, we have crammed so much in our 24-day. Many times, we miss some intimate and sacred moments with God.

Biblically, God speaks to us in many ways, one way is through dreams. I believe that God is reminding us that the Kingdom of God is in our midst (Luke 17:21) – NOW. Where ever you are, if you are a Christian, the Kingdom is within you…NOW.

Similar to the 2 words that encapsulated the word NOW, our lives could be busy or we are just not paying attention to what God is saying to us. If you look closely in life circumstances, within a seemingly chaotic event, God is there with you. You might be traveling, doing business transaction, happy or sad…God is saying to us, “look again!”

Apply this principle with your family and friends who are in a difficult situation. Encourage them; you can actually speak life in their lives that can change their perspectives and give them hope. A simple word change a person’s eternal destiny.

Last Sunday, at a church, I shared my dream with 3 people whom I thought would be receptive to the word NOW. Although each of them are in different stage of their lives, I saw immediate change in their posture and demeanor. They were very thankful and it gave them courage and confidence that God is always there for them.

If we ackNOWledge God, we will experience more of His Kingdom manifesting in our lives. Even if you think NOWay or you are sNOWed under. He is there with you. Look again!

I know, there’s more to the dream, so I encourage you to give me feedback or let me know what you think. God bless you! Believe me He is with you right NOW.

Miracles in Our Midst

December 20, 2012 Merlin Gonzales Backyard Missions, FHL Indiana, Testimony

Last week, I had lunch with one of our ministry partners at a restaurant in Castleton in Indianapolis, IN. At our table, we were greeted by a high-energy waiter; he smiled and asked for our orders. After a few minutes, he came back with our delicious food. Just before he left our table, I asked him if we can pray for him. The question caught him off guard and suddenly, he got quiet. It took him almost a minute before he look at me and with a couple of deep breath, he asked to pray for his marriage. He left immediately so my friend & I prayed for his marriage and blessed our food.

During the course of our stay in the restaurant, our waiter visited our table a few times thanking us for praying for him. Just as we were about ready to leave, he gave me a card with a note, “Thank you soo much for the prayer, you have no idea what it means to me!”

This morning, one of our ministry leaders, Bill & I visited one of our volunteers who was hospitalized 4 weeks ago. The operation restricted her to move around. At the end of our visit. We prayed for her. Nehemiah 8:10 came to mind, “for the joy in the Lord is your strength.” and I shared it with her.

Suddenly, she stood up quickly as if she was fully recovered. She walked rapidly towards her piano, cleared the bench and looked for a hymnal. I did not know what was happening. To my surprise, she played, “Joy to the World.” I was floored to hear how she played it with passion. A simple words of encouragement lifted her faith and changed the spiritual atmosphere in her residence.

These 2 stories of simple acts of kindness and encouraging words can be the miracle that people are waiting for this Christmas season. As we are getting close to Christmas Day, keep in mind that God can use you mightily in someone’s life…the best gift that you can give. The reality of the Kingdom begins within you.