Something is wrong!
My heart is beating harder these past 2 days. My shoulder is tense. What’s wrong with my body? I noticed that anxiety is trying to creep in. This couldn’t be. Last week was wonderful! We had a great leaders’ prayer meeting, stocked the food pantry with healthy food and provided food to dozens of people, the collaboration meeting that I facilitated went very well and the annual fundraiser at the end of the week was a success. Everything was good last week…except the way I put pressure on myself.
This morning while waiting for a lab technician to draw blood from my arm for some test, my wife sent me a message about the Verse of the day: Matthew 6:34, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – NIV
I like the phrase that Matthew Henry, my favorite Bible commentator said, “Gracious Carelessness” for the morrow. The thoughts of being a good leader and to perform well in everything I do afflicted my thoughts and crept in my entire being. I allowed myself to focus on the stuff that disturbed my joy in the Spirit. My thoughts were dominated by the things I need to do next, plan for the coming events and try to solve things while laying down in my bed – things that keep my mind in suspense of what’s going to happen next.
God commanded us not to worry about tomorrow to repress us from polluting our minds about the things of this earth and may lead to distrusting Him. Instead of spending our thoughts on the troubles that may not happen anyway, we should put our trust in Christ. He reminds us not to conform with the cares of the world but rather be consumed by the thoughts of the Kingdom.
God knows our needs better than ourselves. He also know that there are troubles in this world but we should not lust in trying to go ahead of ourselves and even worse, go ahead of God’s timing and plan. This is gracious carelessness – knowing that God got our backs. He reminded us that as He provides for all the creatures of the earth, He would care for us better than we care for ourselves.
Today, I will try to remind myself that it is foolish to dwell in the things of tomorrow’s trouble that may not come anyway. I will remind myself not to lust on solving the troubles of the morrow. I will remind myself to deal with the troubles of just this day since my brain and emotion can only handle limited amount of stuff. I will not be foolish to take on the troubles of tomorrow today. I will not pull myself altogether at once because I was not created that way. I will not be my own tormentor by going through the dark alleys of my mind and by allowing the offensive emotions come into my heart. I will focus on praying when my mind says otherwise, to keep my joy in the Spirit by applying the gracious carelessness.